


Paper Hearts

by b0okbeat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, Idon'tknowhowtotag, M/M, Musiclyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 07:07:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17596715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0okbeat/pseuds/b0okbeat
Summary: A one-shot story of Levi and Eren featuring the song Paper Hearts.





	Paper Hearts

**Author:** Read it while listening to the song 〒▽〒

_Goodbye love, you flew right by, love._   
_Remember the way you made me feel_   
_Such young love but_   
_Something in me knew that it was real_

I remember Eren was standing by the balcony. His hair was flowing like silk in the night wind. His eyes spark as the light reach it. He was like a statue of the God living in the Earth. A creature that was unreachable even though I'm near. A person who always wore a smile with ever problem he face. A light that was shone in the middle of the dark tunnel.

"My love" I called to his figure. It was a peaceful night for the both of us. No medias nor paparazzi lurking outside. A perfect background as we celebrate our Anniversary. Oh how I wish every single moment. He span around and face me the most genuine smile. The happiness was clearly visible to his expressive eyes. Eyes that will remind me of the ocean under the sunset. A clearing of the forest that symbolized freedom. Just seeing his eyes made everything stop and like were the only one left in the middle of nowhere. Just seeing each other despite of the other persons talking in the background. Despite of the flashing lights from the cameras that was capturing the perfect moment of our lives.

**_Capturing the most breathtaking sight of you._ **

_Frozen in my head_   
_Pictures I'm living through for now_   
_Trying to remember all the good times_   
_Our life was cutting through so loud_

His smile was forever engraved in my mind. Every action he takes made my day as perfect as it can be. Every words that left his plum lips left me trance and savor every moment. His perfect being was more than enough to melt me along the way. Every moment we spent with each other was the most perfect memory that play in my mind again and again and how he laugh as we catch each other in tag. Oh how that moments complete my very being.

I remember everything. From our fights to love-making. From angry to loving. I even remember how everything started. How everything blossom from nowhere. How everything change from a simple enemy to simple lovers. How we hate each other to fell in love with each other. How I fell to him so hard and how he catch me. How we kiss each other as the rain falls into our body. Oh how cliche it all can be. How everything move with faith and brought us to each other. How the love grew despite the struggles we face around the deprecating eyes of others. And how despite of the eyes of the other, he were able to pull the most astonishing smile that made everything much better.

**_And I remember how everything end in a swift._ **

_Memories are playing in my dull mind_   
_I hate this part, paper hearts_   
_And I'll hold a piece of yours_   
_Don't think I would just forget about it_

_Hoping that you won't forget about it_   
_Everything is gray under these skies_   
_Wet mascara_   
_Hiding every cloud under a smile_

Oh how I wish it will never end. How I wish we can make our own world and live by each other's side forever. Till we got old and wrinkles form in our once youthful face. How I wish we will forever play tag and laugh under the blazing sun. How I wish I will able to watch his face smile and show how happy he was. How I wish I will forever hear his laughing voice and catch him staring at me. To see his face become red out of embarrassment and see him squirm under me. How I wish everything will stay forever.

**_But that's not what faith plan for the both of us._ **

_When there's cameras_   
_And I just can't reach out to tell you_   
_That I always wonder what you're up to_   
_Pictures I'm living through for now_

I remember every time we fought. Every time he cried in front of me. Every time he ask me why. and every time I wasn't able to provide the answer. Every time he will stare in the distance with a dull eyes. Every time I hear him crying in the bathroom floor. Every time he tried to smile, but his smile never reach his eyes. I don't know when it start to fall apart. I don't know when we start became distant. I don't know when it start to break and split in the middle. And the most hurtful thing was I don't know why. I don't know why it started. Why it happened. Why it have to end with this. With us breaking, falling, and crying.

I tried to fix it. To make it whole. To shorten the distance. But every time I came closer, he will make a step back. Step back and away from me. Like I'm some monster that need to be avoided. That scare him. That will hurt him.

When he didn't come home one night, I wait. I wait by the windowsill and staired outside. Hoping that he will come back and announce from the door the words "I'm back". Hoping that he will trudge and reach for me, kiss me deeply and hold me tight. Embrace like there's no tomorrow. Eat with me and joke around in the dining area. I wait and wait and wait. I always wait for him with a plate prepared in the table. I wait for him with umbrella in my hand when rain start to fall down. I wait for him with water in my hand when the sun was blazing hot. I wait for him till midnight with the movies out, ready to be played.

**_I wait for him for so many years._ **

_Trying to remember all the good times_   
_Our life was cutting through so loud_   
_Memories are playing in my dull mind_   
_I hate this part, paper hearts_

Till it reach 5 years. I wait by the window, holding his picture framed in my chest. The picture he were smiling as bright as the sun. The picture that was left behind as a memory of a distant love. As a memory of him and for the happy moments we had. The memories that was sealed in an album sat on my lap. Sat on my bed as I sleep. As I woke up. And as I do everything I have to do. And as the process continues.

I wait by the big windowsill waiting for him. After 10 years I still held the same picture in my chest. The same album in my bed. Albums in my lap. Pictures scattered in my room. Meals prepared by the table. House clean so when he came back, it is welcoming. Umbrella in my lap when it rains. Glass in my hand when it was hot outside. Movies out when it reached midnight and tears will escape my eyes when the day passed by without him by my side.

I wait for him after 13 years. Held the flower in my hand as our 13th Anniversary arrived. His favorite blue flowers. the one that came from his home town. I sat by the windowsill, chocolates in my lap this time. I wait and wait for him. My 40th birthday came. Christmas, it was Christmas once again. I can still imagine the silhouette of him building a snowman outside. I smiled to my own imagination.

_**I always wait for him** _

_And I'll hold a piece of yours_   
_Don't think I would just forget about it_   
_Hoping that you won't forget_

It reached 17 years when I saw him once again. I saw him with her. He were smiling so lovingly to her. He were looking at her with love and adoration, like she's the only one he see despite of this big world. Still holding and hugging the picture in my hand, I watch with wrinkled eyes. I watched with tired body. I watched and saw him still the most beautiful person in my eyes. I watched as I slowly closed my eyes. I cried. From both happiness and broken heart. Happy that he found someone that will make him happy the way that I can't. I smiled, remembering the distant memories of the past. I cried for a broken heart. When he left without a single word. When I can't found him for 17 years. I cried because I was broken of being in love with him and being happy for him. I want him to go back to me for my own selfishness.

I know he's happy. He's happy not with me, but with her. I cried my eyes out until I hear myself sobbing. Until I hear myself gasping for air.

Until I felt myself numb from the pain.

I live through pictures as if I was right there by your side  
But you'll be good without me and if I could just give it some time  
I'll be alright

I sat by the windowsill, watching the children laugh as they passed by. I sat by the windowsill as the rain fall and wet the grass. I sat by the windowsill as the blue flowers wither in my vase. I sat by the windowsill as the Christmas passed by. I sat by the windowsill holding his picture dear to my chest. I sat by the windowsill as 25 years passed. I sat by the windowsill as a hobby of waiting for him. I sat by the windowsill as the meal became cold in the dining table. I sat by the windowsill as many Christmas passed by. I sat by the windowsill as i felt myself numb from the pain.

I sat by the windowsill as I let my eyes closed with a vision of him in my mind.

I sat by the windowsill as the last tears left my eyes for missing him.

I sat by the windowsill as the last smile graced my lips for being happy and loving him and only him.

I sat by the windowsill as my last breath left my mouth.

_Goodbye love, you flew right by love_   
_Pictures I'm living through for now_   
_Trying to remember all the good times_   
_Our life was cutting through so loud_   
_Memories are playing in my dull mind_   
_I hate this part, paper hearts_   
_And I'll hold a piece of yours_   
_Don't think I would just forget about it_   
**_Hoping that you won't forget_ **


End file.
